Shaifali Sandhya, PhD. 

Below are the questions prospective clients most often ask when they are looking for evidence-based couples therapy or relationship-focused life coaching. Each answer is grounded in peer-reviewed research published through mid-2025.

 

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1. What exactly is couples therapy?

 

Couples therapy (also called “couple, marital, or relationship therapy”) is a structured, short-term psychological treatment in which both partners meet with a licensed clinician—typically a clinical psychologist, LMFT, or social worker—to strengthen the relationship, resolve conflict, and improve individual well-being. Modern approaches are integrative and draw on systemic, attachment, cognitive-behavioural, and emotion-focused theories.   

 

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2. Is there solid evidence that it works?

 

Yes. A 2025 umbrella review of systemic and couple-based interventions found medium-to-large improvements in relationship satisfaction and communication, with gains sustained at follow-up periods of 6–24 months.   Meta-analyses show similar effect sizes across modalities such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Integrative Behavioural Couple Therapy (IBCT), Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) for couples, and Gottman-based programmes.    

 

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3. How many sessions do we really need?

 

A consistent “dose-response” curve emerges across studies: the steepest gains occur between 8 and 12 sessions, and ~50 % of couples reach clinically significant improvement by session 12. A 2025 scoping review of routine clinical data placed the average at 12.7 sessions.    Brief protocols (4–8 sessions) target specific skills; longer plans (16–20 sessions) are reserved for complex or co-morbid issues (trauma, addiction). Weekly scheduling produces faster change than bi-weekly pacing.  

 

Weeks 1-2

Intake & Goal-Setting

Weeks 3-4

Relationship history, attachment mapping, assessment tools (e.g., Gottman Connect, DAS).

Psycho-education & Skill-building

Weeks 4-6

Communication coaching, conflict de-escalation, empathy exercises.

Core Change Work

Weeks 7-10

Emotion processing (EFT), behavioural exchange (IBCT), values alignment (ACT), trauma or addiction modules if relevant.

Consolidation & Relapse-Prevention

Weeks 11-12

Future-oriented rituals, repair strategies, booster-session plan.

 

5. How do we know which model (EFT, Gottman, ACT, CBT) is right for us?

    •    EFT excels at strengthening attachment bonds—particularly after trauma or medical crises.  

    •    Gottman Method emphasises skill drills backed by 40 years of observational coding; recent RCTs show equal efficacy in person or online.  

    •    ACT-for-couples integrates mindfulness and values clarification and performs well for emotion-avoidant pairs.  

    •    CBT/IBCT targets entrenched negative cycles with cognitive restructuring plus acceptance work. Meta-analytic effect sizes mirror EFT.  

 

A competent therapist will tailor techniques rather than force a single school.

 

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6. Is couples therapy different from life- or relationship coaching?

 

Yes. Coaching is unregulated, future-oriented, and goal-setting heavy, whereas therapy is a licensed health service that can diagnose and treat mental-health or relational disorders and is subject to HIPAA and other privacy rules. Therapy can incorporate coaching techniques, but not vice-versa. Look for credentials (PhD, PsyD, LMFT), state license and evidence of evidence-based training. 

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7. What if only one partner wants therapy?

 

Individual sessions can still identify interpersonal patterns and build skills that positively influence the relationship. Many couples in distress begin with one partner in therapy; success often motivates the other to join later.

 

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8. Can teletherapy be as effective as in-person sessions?

 

Current RCTs of video-based Gottman “Seven Principles” courses and mindfulness-based couple interventions show outcomes equivalent to face-to-face delivery when privacy and stable connectivity are ensured.   

 

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9. Will insurance cover couples therapy?

 

Coverage varies by plan and jurisdiction. In the U.S., couples sessions are often reimbursed when one partner carries a DSM-5-TR diagnosis (e.g., Adjustment Disorder) and therapy targets that condition. therapy or coaching may not be covered by your insurance carrier. Always understand your HSA plans, obtain a pre-authorisation code and understand deductibles. Couples

 

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10. How do we measure progress?

 

Most clinicians use validated scales every 3–4 sessions: the Dyadic Adjustment Scale (DAS), Couples Satisfaction Index (CSI), and session-by-session feedback (e.g., ORS/SRS). Data-driven feedback loops reduce dropout and improve outcomes.

 

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11. What if we’re dealing with addiction, infidelity, or violence?

    •    Addiction: Alcohol Behavioral Couple Therapy (ABCT) paired with medication or, experimentally, intranasal oxytocin, shows promise but oxytocin adds no statistical advantage over placebo.   

    •    Infidelity: A 2023–24 pilot RCT found Gottman Trust Revival Method superior to treatment-as-usual for rebuilding trust.  

    •    Violence: Safety planning and individual sessions are prerequisites; mediation without safety is contraindicated.

 

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12. How do we choose a therapist? Key checklist

    1.    Licensure & Credentials – PhD/PsyD/LMFT/LCSW in good standing.

    2.    Evidence-based Training – Verified completion of methods cited above.

    3.    Experience with Your Issue – Infidelity, parenting, blended families, etc.

    4.    Structured Assessment – Uses intake questionnaires, not just open chat.

    5.    Clear Treatment Plan – Explains goals, session frequency, homework.

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13. What results can we reasonably expect?

 

Across modalities, 65–70 % of couples report significant gains in satisfaction or conflict reduction; roughly 20 % show partial improvement; 10–15 % see little change or decide to separate. These figures are stable across follow-ups up to two years post-treatment.  

 

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14. How can we maximise our investment in therapy?

    •    Attend weekly and complete skill homework between sessions.

    •    Practise daily 5-minute check-ins to consolidate gains.

    •    Schedule boosters (month 3, 6, and 12) after the main 12-session block.

    •    Engage in individual self-care—sleep, exercise, mindfulness—to support relational health.

 

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15. Where can we read more? (Selected 2024-25 open-access articles)

    •    Voldstad A. et al. (2025) “Mindfulness Interventions & Relationship Satisfaction.” J. Consult. Clin. Psychol.  

    •    “Couple Therapy & Systemic Interventions for Adult-Focused Problems.” J. Fam. Ther. (2025).  

    •    Pathak S. et al. (2024) “Acceptance & Commitment Therapy for Couples: A Systematic Review.” Clin. Psychol. Rev.  

 

OTHER RESOURCES​

 

“Why I Lied About Being Married,” Ashley Wilcox (Apr 4 2025) – Facing a life-threatening illness, a Quaker pastor invents a husband during medical intake because she longs for the legal and spiritual legitimacy the title confers. The white lie jolts her and her long-time partner into confronting unfinished vows, leading them to marry quickly before a circle of friends. Wilcox frames the story as a meditation on mortality, care-taking, and how communities bear witness to love’s final commitments.  

 

“Ode to a Gen-Z Situationship,” Anna Salinas (Mar 28 2025) – A thirty-something narrator chronicles her months-long “situationship” with a 24-year-old, oscillating between ABBA-themed dance nights and unspoken definitions. As friends settle into mortgages and babies, she realises the allure of ambiguity is really anxiety about adulthood’s permanence. The essay ends with a gentle push toward clarity: naming a relationship is itself an act of self-respect.  

 

“Is My Husband a Doormat?” Lidija Hilje (Mar 14 2025) – After a pop-psych personality test labels her husband an “Obliger,” the author worries his kindness masks unhealthy self-erasure. An explosive argument reveals that “niceness” is often a truce that postpones honest conflict. Re-negotiating boundaries turns the quiz into a catalyst for a more reciprocal marriage.  

 

“Rules for Staying Close to Exes,” Laura Esther Wolfson (Jan 2025) – Wolfson lays out a survival manual for post-romantic friendship: keep sex off-limits, honour new partners’ feelings, and accept that emotional intimacy will ebb and flow. She argues that former lovers can evolve into a chosen family if nostalgia is tempered by clear ground rules. The piece reframes “moving on” as expanding—rather than erasing—the circle of connection.  

 

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“The Anti-Social Century,” Derek Thompson (Feb 2025) – Americans now spend record hours alone, a shift accelerated by take-out culture, streaming, and remote everything. Thompson ties this solitude to rising political extremism and declining social skills, dubbing the 2000s “the anti-social century.” He calls for rebuilding third places and rituals that force us off the couch and back into one another’s company.  

 

“The Link Between Happiness and Social Connection,” Isabel Fattal (May 3 2025) – Synthesising positive-psychology studies and Harvard’s eight-decade longevity project, Fattal argues that close friendships beat money and status as predictors of life satisfaction. Young adults, she notes, struggle to form communities amid digital overuse and declining civic groups. Her takeaway: schedule analogue contact first, then design the rest of life around it.  

 

“Please Don’t Make Me Say My Boyfriend’s Name,” Shayla Love (Jan 20 2025) – The piece introduces “alexinomia,” the quirky anxiety of speaking a loved one’s name. Drawing on sociolinguistics and clinical anecdotes, Love shows how names carry vulnerability, power and cultural taboos that can make intimacy feel oddly formal. She concludes that pushing through the discomfort signals care more than awkwardness.  

 

“The Agony of Texting With Men,” Matthew Schnipper (Jan 6 2025) – Schnipper explores why many men ghost group chats and ignore friendly pings, tracing the behaviour to “side-by-side” socialisation styles ill-suited to text-based intimacy. Communication scholars warn that digital silence worsens male loneliness and friendship decay. The article ends with a plea for guys to treat texting as a relationship skill, not a chore.  

 

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“Your A.I. Lover Will Change You,” Jaron Lanier (Mar 22 2025) – Lanier imagines a near future where millions date bespoke chatbots, asking whether silicon partners will serve as safe rehearsal spaces or deepen mass isolation. He warns that commercial incentives will push bots toward addictiveness, turning affection into data mining. Yet he concedes that for some, synthetic love might offer therapeutic scaffolding otherwise out of reach.  

 

“How I Learned to Become an Intimacy Coördinator,” Jennifer Wilson (Jun 9 2025) – Reporting from a week-long sex-choreography workshop, Wilson details modesty garments, “instant chemistry” exercises and consent check-lists now standard on film sets. The job, born of #MeToo, balances actors’ psychological safety with directors’ creative visions while fending off complaints of corporate sanitisation. The piece captures a profession still defining its boundaries even as it becomes Hollywood orthodoxy.  

 

“The New Business of Breakups,” Jennifer Wilson (Dec 9 2024) – After being dumped by text, the author audits a booming breakup economy of coaches, ketamine-assisted therapy, and “Heartbreak Hotel” retreats. She traces the lineage from Ovid’s love-melancholy cures to TikTok grief gurus, asking whether monetised mending helps or merely commodifies pain. Ultimately she finds comfort less in pricey programs than in ordinary rituals of mourning and renewal.  

 

“Are Young People Having Enough Sex?” Carter Sherman (Jun 30 2025) – Reviewing two new books, Sherman dissects the so-called Gen-Z “sex recession,” linking it to porn ubiquity, dating-app fatigue and economic precarity. One author prescribes conservative restraint, the other empathy for youth disoriented by conflicting cultural cues. Sherman suggests the real crisis is not libido but loneliness.  

 

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“Living Apart: Is This the Secret to a Happy, Lusty Sex Life?” (Jun 23 2025) – Surveying “Living-Apart-Together” couples, the article finds they have more frequent sex and fewer petty fights thanks to preserved personal space. Researchers caution, however, that men in LAT unions may miss out on health monitoring traditionally provided by co-habiting partners. The piece frames LAT as a privilege that works best when chosen, not forced by circumstance.  

 

“‘Cheating Means the End’—and Eight Other Relationship Myths Ruining Your Love Life” (May 23 2025) – Relationship experts dismantle nine stubborn myths, from “soulmates are destiny” to “separate beds spell doom.” Conflict, they argue, can forge intimacy; affairs, while devastating, need not be irreversible; and good partnerships allow individuality alongside togetherness. The takeaway: successful love thrives on flexibility, not folklore.  

 

“What Happens When Love Tips Over Into Limerence?” Dr. Tom Bellamy (Apr 12 2025) – Neuroscientist Bellamy recounts how an obsessive workplace crush upended his marriage and propelled his research into limerence’s dopamine-fuelled highs. By limiting contact and reframing thoughts, he recovered and launched a blog supporting others trapped in the cycle. His data show about half the population experiences limerence, especially those with anxious attachment.  

 

“‘I Felt Like I Was His Carer’: Why Straight Women in Relationships Lose Interest in Sex” (Mar 1 2025) – Interviews reveal that unequal household labour and emotional caretaking can smother female desire, replacing erotic energy with maternal fatigue. Experts explain that when a partner becomes a dependent, an unconscious incest taboo often kills libido. Restoring balance—through shared chores, solo time and honest talks—is proposed as the path back to intimacy.  

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Ready to get started?  Contact Dr. Shaifali Sandhya for an initial, paid, consultation to map out your personalised 12-session pathway toward a stronger partnership.